10 weeks & vacation's over

I believe I shall be saying this a lot. "Where did the time go?" This time last year, we were recovering from our trip to India. This year, we are recovering from adding to the family. And, not only are we trying to recover from the birth, the NICU, the family visits ... it's been 10 weeks since he was born. Holy cow, where DID the time go?


Oli's had a busy first 10 weeks of life. In this small amount of time, he's:

• been to the movies and slept angelically through Little Fockers.
• been to numerous restaurants, too many to even count
• done a road trip to Wilmington NC to visit his nani, nanu and mausi. Slept most of the 8 hr drive each way, except to eat and demand to be changed.
• started fitting into 3 month clothing
• smiles at people he recognizes
• talks (or well makes sounds like he's trying to talk) at Smokey, us, the hanging toys off his play mat
• has discovered how to throw a back arching tantrum (my, how young they learn)
• has learned how to make so many expressions. Our friend, Jenn, caught a few of his expressions on camera (that's the photo up top).

So, Oli's doing great. There don't seem to be any lasting effects form his pneumothorax or his stay at the NICU. Trust me, you can hear him wail and know that his lungs are perfect.

Oli's parents, on the other hand? We are learning slowly too. We are learning what each different cry means. We are learning how exciting it is when he looks at us in the morning and smiles his gummy smile, indicating he knows it's us. We are learning that there will never be a worry so great as the one for his welfare. We are learning that we can be excited about his growing up and learning new things daily while also missing the stuff he leaves behind. We are learning that we can be excited about helping him discover all that's good in the world while also wondering how to protect him from all the evils. I know I am also wondering about how to balance my need and want to go back to work with the need and want to be with him at all times.

Dear Oli, I hope you know that when mommy says she can't wait to go back to work, it does NOT ever translate to wanting to be away from you. I need to go back to work to balance being me with being a mommy. I have been me for much longer than I have been a mommy and I have missed that in the last few months. Discovering you has been wondrous and will be wondrous as you grow and learn and venture out (and get into cupboards and break my china and other people's windows) but I also need to go back and renew my self worth as a person. I am a wife, a sister, a daughter, now a mother but also an IT Specialist. I know people will laugh as they read this but my job is important to me. I happen like my job too (that's something else we'll talk about as you grow up - finding something to do that you like and that can pay for your shoe addiction uhh grocery bills, I mean). So, I hope that this Tuesday, when we both leave this cozy nest, we'll both be ok. I love you more than I ever thought possible.