There's been some hubbub out in the blogworld about the whole men and women thing and do we think differently and do men do some things wrong on purpose so we won't ask them to do it again. I thought about this long and hard and I've been known to accuse Jeff of doing that. But, i don't think, at least in his case, that that's the case at all. Let's point out some things:
1. Folding laundry: he folds the towels and t shirts differently than I do. Does the world end? No. Do they not fit entirely as cleanly in the drawers as they would have my way? Maybe. After some years of marriage, did I give up on having them folded "my" way to just enjoy the convenience of a husband who will do laundry without asking? HELL YES!
2. Loading the dishwasher: he won't always put the smaller bowls on the top. Used to bug the sh!t out of me. Do I care anymore? Ummm, nope. He does the dishes; the man actually LIKES doing the dishes, he can do them whatever way he damn pleases.
3. Finances: I do them all. I create our budget, tell him what we can spend on what each month. Does it bug me that he doesn't pay the bills? Actually, no, because this is where I believe that each one of us has his/her strengths. I enjoy dealing with numbers, doing our taxes, looking at our accounts. So, he lets me do it. If I may speak for him, I'll even say he wouldn't like to do it all. Trust me, he's said it.
Electrical stuff: He can do it all. I couldn't care less. What, honey? you want the Phillips head? Sure, that's something I can do and then get out of your way.
And, if I happen to thank him for vaccuuming the house one Sunday, he thanks me for cooking every day. I don't think thanking the other person for something that is supposedly a house chore and should be done no matter what makes it a big deal. (This came from something out there that why should a wife have to thank her husband for taking the garbage out or doing laundry or something similar).
We each have our own strengths and ways of dealing with situations. A marriage will rarely be 1/2 and 1/2. Maybe 5/8 and 3/8 or 2/5 and 3/5. But, you'll never be able to split everything down the middle. It's technically infeasible. I cook and do the finances. He does the handyman work and vaccuum. Every now and then, I vaccuum. Should I not be doing that since that's "his" chore? We both take the dog and the garbage out. I don't let him touch the mailbox. Actually, I should just take his key away. But, the point is a marriage is a partnership, not a contract.
I can't figure out how to end this, so here's a quote from Joseph Barth: "Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up."
I agree with it wholeheartedly, for both sides, the man and the woman.