This & That

Posted this in the wrong blog!!!

When I am already behind in my Christmas shopping!!!!!! Usually, by October, I either have everything bought or a very definitive idea of what it's going to be. Out of the 9 people, I want to do gifts for this year, I have already given 1 hers early, I have bought for 1 and I kind of have an idea for a couple other people. but, the rest, I am lost.

I also need to plan our Thanksgiving dinner menu. We're probably going to spend the actual day at Anjuli and Mike's again BUT I'd like to do something at my house as well.

We won't be home for Christmas this year. for the first time in probably decades, Jeff has a job where he gets holidays off. So, we're off to spend X-mas with the Williams' side of the family in LA and then on to India to celebrate New Year's with the Khajuria clan. But, in those travels, we'll miss our wedding anniversary. We fly on the afternoon of the 29th from LA and we get in very late on the 30th in India, which will be our 4th anniversary.

Another reason I'm grumpy is Halloween. We do have plans for friends to come over BUT people aren't responding. there are a lot of "maybe"s. What's up with that? just say yes or no. I am grumpy enough to just cancel it. Which is weird for me; I love entertaining. I love having people over, cooking and creating new cocktails or bringing out old ones. But, this year, I am just Scroodgilicius. Maybe it's all the hospitals I have been in or the fact that the darn insurance still hasn't straightened it all out. Whatever this is, I hope I snap out of it soon. I don't like this person who cannot seem to enjoy shopping or planning for a party! This is not the me I know and love!

Mars vs. Venus

There's been some hubbub out in the blogworld about the whole men and women thing and do we think differently and do men do some things wrong on purpose so we won't ask them to do it again. I thought about this long and hard and I've been known to accuse Jeff of doing that. But, i don't think, at least in his case, that that's the case at all. Let's point out some things:
1. Folding laundry: he folds the towels and t shirts differently than I do. Does the world end? No. Do they not fit entirely as cleanly in the drawers as they would have my way? Maybe. After some years of marriage, did I give up on having them folded "my" way to just enjoy the convenience of a husband who will do laundry without asking? HELL YES!
2. Loading the dishwasher: he won't always put the smaller bowls on the top. Used to bug the sh!t out of me. Do I care anymore? Ummm, nope. He does the dishes; the man actually LIKES doing the dishes, he can do them whatever way he damn pleases.
3. Finances: I do them all. I create our budget, tell him what we can spend on what each month. Does it bug me that he doesn't pay the bills? Actually, no, because this is where I believe that each one of us has his/her strengths. I enjoy dealing with numbers, doing our taxes, looking at our accounts. So, he lets me do it. If I may speak for him, I'll even say he wouldn't like to do it all. Trust me, he's said it.

Electrical stuff: He can do it all. I couldn't care less. What, honey? you want the Phillips head? Sure, that's something I can do and then get out of your way.

And, if I happen to thank him for vaccuuming the house one Sunday, he thanks me for cooking every day. I don't think thanking the other person for something that is supposedly a house chore and should be done no matter what makes it a big deal. (This came from something out there that why should a wife have to thank her husband for taking the garbage out or doing laundry or something similar).

We each have our own strengths and ways of dealing with situations. A marriage will rarely be 1/2 and 1/2. Maybe 5/8 and 3/8 or 2/5 and 3/5. But, you'll never be able to split everything down the middle. It's technically infeasible. I cook and do the finances. He does the handyman work and vaccuum. Every now and then, I vaccuum. Should I not be doing that since that's "his" chore? We both take the dog and the garbage out. I don't let him touch the mailbox. Actually, I should just take his key away. But, the point is a marriage is a partnership, not a contract.

I can't figure out how to end this, so here's a quote from Joseph Barth: "Marriage is our last, best chance to grow up."

I agree with it wholeheartedly, for both sides, the man and the woman.

Goodbye to little kitties

No, nobody's little pets died or anything. What happened was that I stayed in a house with 2 cats this last weekend. And, it proved to us that we can never have a cat in our house again. not unless I like the feeling of not being able to breathe and getting up in the middle of the night to suck on my inhaler or finishing 2 boxes of tissues per day.

It sucks. I loved Bandit and I would have loved to have gotten another little kitten someday. But, apparently my body has different ideas about this.

Avon

I've tried every brand of make-up out there, except for Avon. Today, thanks to Karen, I tried some Avon products, including a line called Smooth Minerals. I ordered a couple lipsticks that claimed to be extralasting. Anyone who knows me I love my CoverGirl Outlast All Day lipstick. The lipsticks from Avon aren't like CoverGirl. the CG ones go on like paint and once on, they don't come off; sometimes I'll wake up the next morning and it's still on. And while I love the fact that they don't come off, they tend to get a little hard on your lips if you forget to use the topcoat every few hours. The Avon lipstick is smooth, very light and stayed on for hours. It is not transfer resistant as the website declares which I learned upon seeing a perfect lip mark on top of my dog's head. I believe I'll keep them at work where I am not kissing people but I need something that'll stay for hours.

On to the Smooth Minerals. I ordered the set that came with 2 foundations, a blush and a transparent glow fiishing powder. I used all 4 and let me tell you I'm surprised at how it still feels like I have nothing on my face. It's very light. In my bathroom at 5:30 a.m. I almost felt like I wasn't getting enough on my face. But, I just took a photo under strong light at work and I think it looks just perfect for work. Light with just a slight hint of blush. The only thing to be seen is if it stays through the day. My blush seems to fade away by lunch time.


This is what it looks like now:



So, if you've wanted to try the Avon line, please go on over and browse. you also get free shipping if your order is at least $30.

Wrinkly

Who is? I am!
Ok, backing up a bit. My dear hubby is very excited about the fact that we can now send pics via text messages to each other on the iPhone. this morning, I got one from him and feeling pretty, I decided to take a photo of my smiling face to send back. Since I get up before him and leave way before him, he doesn't usually egt to see what I look like all day long (I'm in my jammies as soon as I get home).


So, I grab the iPhone, turn it around, smile broadly and click. Turn it around and SCREAM! When did all those wrinkles pop up around my eyes? On one hand, I'd love to just call them smile lines and be done with it but on the other hand, I am horrified. I am only 32 and those seem like a LOT of wrinkles.

P.S. Yes I know those Yeti eyebrows could use some work too.

Our names (courtsey of Ancestry.com)

Silvia
Italian and English: from Roman legend. Rhea Silvia was, according to mythological tradition, the mother of the twins Romulus and Remus, who founded Rome. Her name probably represents a reworking, by association with Latin silva wood, of some pre-Roman form. It was borne by a 6th-century saint, mother of Gregory the Great, and has always been relatively popular in Italy. Shakespeare used it as a typically Italian name in his Two Gentlemen of Verona, but it is now completely established in the English-speaking world. Variant: English, Scandinavian: Sylvia.
Cognate: French: Sylvie.

Geoffrey
English: of Germanic (Frankish and Lombard) origin, introduced to Britain by the Normans. It was in regular use among the counts of Anjou, ancestors of the English royal house of Plantagenet, who were descended from Geoffrey Plantagenet, Count of Anjou (1113–51). Godefroy de Bouillon, leader of the First Crusade, is commemorated in Torquato Tasso's Gerusalemme Liberata (1581). It was a particularly popular name in England and France in the later Middle Ages; notable bearers in England include the poet Geoffrey Chaucer (c.1340–1400) and in Wales the chronicler Geoffrey of Monmouth (Gaufridus Monemutensis; d. 1155). The original form and meaning of the elements of which the name is composed are disputed. According to one theory, the name is merely a variant of Godfrey; others derive the first part from the Germanic elements gawia territory, walah stranger, or gisil pledge. Medieval forms can be found to support all these theories, and it is possible that several names have fallen together, or that the name was subjected to reanalysis by folk etymology at an early date. Variant: Jeffrey.
Cognates: French: Geoffroi. Italian: Goffredo. Spanish, Portuguese: Godofredo. Welsh: Sieffre. Irish Gaelic: Siothrún.

Better late than never Thanks!

I have been wanting to write this for over a month now but life kept getting in the way and I didn't know exactly how to say it. I have so much gratitude in my heart for these people who kept me sane the day of my accident and afterwards (in the order of appearance, not gratitude):

1. My sister: She was the first one I called. I was still strapped to my seat, lying on my side. I called to tell her I'd been in an accident and she immediately drove over. I have no idea what must have been going through her head when she saw the helicopters, the emergency vehicles, all the people milling around and the wreckage that was my car, but the whole time, including the ride to the hospital, she was cool as a cucumber. I am sure she'll make a wonderful doctor one day.

2. The stranger: don't know his name, can barely remember his face. Older African-American gentleman. While other people were walking around my car, peering through the windshield, he pro-actively climbed on top of the passenger side, got the door opened, got my seat belt unfastened and helped me stand up. He talked to me the whole time till the paramedics got there. He helped get my purse out of the car and when they loaded me into the ambulance, he placed it inside. I would have left it all in the car if it'd been up to him. And, once he saw the paramedics had me, he said goodbye and left. I really wish I knew where to find that wonderful, kind soul.

3. The policemen, the EMTs and the paramedics: They took care of me so quickly once they got there that I had no time to panic. I think they don't get enough recognition. They had to deal with onlookers, with me who wanted to know if I could fly 2 days later, my sister who wanted to ride with them, while they were trying to ensure I hadn't done major damage to my spine, head, internal organs etc. At no time did they seem impatient or rushed, yet they got me on the stretcher, immobilized and on the way to the hospital in no time.

4. Everybody at University of MD Medical Center shock Trauma Unit: you guys made me feel like no matter what had happened, I'd come out of there ok. Thank you!

5. Kathi: my previous boss and still good friend: I'd called her right after calling Suheir (my sister) to tell her that I probably wouldn't be at work the next day. She showed up at the hospital and managed to get inside to see me after telling them she was my sister-in-law. Seeing her and Suheir at my side while they did all the initial tests kept me very, very sane.

6. My parents: I don't have enough words to express how much closer I am to my parents than when I left their home in 1997. I cannot imagine the pain a parent feels when their child is hurt. I just know that they showed up to the hospital and held my hands and kept me smiling till it was time for me to go into surgery.

7. Jeff: poor Jeff, he got messages from me, Kathi and Suheir about the accident because he was underground in the Washington Metro system when the accident happened. He got home somehow, picked up my folks and brought them to the hospital. I have no idea if I'd have stayed as strong or collected if the situation has been reversed (and I never want to find out either).

8. Brenda, Anjuli and Mike: I cannot ask for better friends. They came over to see me after surgery and kept me feeling normal. It was better to have people come over than to sit around by myself and replay the incident over and over in my mind. They even brought me the best birthday cake ever! It was a cowboy hat and a lasso.

9. Dr. Roe: He was my bypass surgeon who also took my gall bladder out and did my hernia surgery. I wish he'd been at the hospital that night too. I'd called him after calling my sister and Kathi. He called the hospital and talked to the surgeons and explained my history. After I was discharged, he also took care of this surgery site and sutures.

10. Jeff's family: I have said this before and I'll say it again. I could not have asked for better in-laws. I got calls, cards, well wishes, tower of treats, flowers, you name it, in the days following the accident. And, that was after I messed up the very first summer reunion of the family in LA because my accident happened 2 days before we were supposed to fly out there.

I am not the most patient patient. I mean, I hurt my ribs trying to get a file drawer open 2 days after I came home. My family and friends have really kept me sane and taught e to slow down these past few weeks. I am ok getting somewhere late. Ok, I lie, I still hate being late. But, I'll leave earlier instead of trying to get there fast. Because, honestly, life is more important than any errand, any appointment, anything we might be rushing towards.

Thank you each and every one of you. Please know that I value your place in my life even if I don't say it a lot. And I apologize to anyone I might have forgotten. I'll blame it on the airbag that punched me in the face and made my memory slightly hazy.

A month since

It's been exactly 4 weeks since the accident. The flashbacks have gone down in frequency. My changed habits haven't.
- I am rarely over the speed limit
- I rarely make a left turn unless the other car's like a half mile away
- I keep looking at other people doing rash things on the road and wincing
- I am more patient; whereas before, if somebody was trying to cut me off, I would have sped up, now I just let them go.
I still get a little hyperventilated and slightly weepy when I think of that day. I still replay it in my mind, trying to think of what I missed. I still get the shakes when I see pictures of my Element. I remember the impact when the car hit me. I vividly remember how my windshield spiderwebbed. I remember the punch of the airbag into the left side of my face because I had turned my head to the right to look at what hit me. I remember feeling the car tilt and slide across the road. I don't remember the order of those events. I remember screaming, just to ensure myself I was alive.
I am not sure the flashbacks will ever go away. I keep thinking of people I would have left behind and of course then I tell Jeff that he better have mourned a year before remarrying. And, my sister says she would have never let him remarry. But, you get the point. I don't think I have PTSD but it's pretty damn close and I am hoping it goes away eventually. I just want to remind everyone life is so precious and your actions don't ust affect you; they affect the people you love and who love you. Be careful in your daily lives and remember to tell your loved ones how much you lvoe them as often as you can.