Sunday, January 15, 2017

How to get your child to talk

Oh, this isn't an educative post on ways to get your kid to talk to you. This is a reflective post on how freaking hard it is! We started doing "3 interesting things that happened today" at dinner time, in order to get more than one word answers to our typical questions, you know the ones! "How was your day?" "How was school?" "What did you do?" And, the 3 interesting things worked well for a while, but after 5.5 months of school, things are starting to repeat themselves. So, I turned to the all-knowing Google for ideas. And, the conversation jar was born.

You can see I am so not a DIYer! I couldn't even glue the top to the jar correctly:

But, I got an empty jar and filled it with 30 questions to begin with:

I looked at many different blogs and sites and picked 30 that I thought would be appropriate for Oliver's age:

I will update on how things go with the conversation jar!

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Teach Your Children Well

Oliver asked me the other day what "bitch" meant because he heard it on a cooking competition. I explained the meaning to him - a female dog - and then explained that people use it in a derogatory manner towards others and that's not a nice thing. He understood and said ok. So, tomorrow, if he calls somebody a bitch, he doesn't have the excuse of being ignorant and will deserve whatever punishment Jeff and I deem ok.

In the same vein, I don't understand how high school kids can claim ignorance of "black face," and "n****r". There is no way they got to their age without hearing that, what win social media. That tells me that either they were never corrected by their parents or were actually encouraged.

I have no sympathy for a thing adult who takes a racist, sexist, xenophobic, hatred towards any group motivated action. It's not a joke. Your parents should have raised you better. And, as high schoolers, you deserve the reaction to your action.

I will not be tolerant towards intolerance.
I will not show love towards hatred.
I will not turn the other cheek when somebody spits on me for who I am.

& that's how I will raise my son to be!

Friday, December 16, 2016

Being untrue to myself

This is fear. This is trepidation for my child. This is what the current political climate made me do tonight.

What is this?

This is me taking a permanent black Sharpie and coloring in pink lines on sneakers. We bought these on clearance at Columbia in CA last year. When we got back here, I saw the color and so did Oliver, and he loved them.

Tonight, he asked if he could wear them tomorrow. Of course he can!!! But, then I started thinking of the hatred that has gained voice and volume since the election results came out. And, I wanted to protect my 6 year old. I wanted to keep him from the ugliness of the world around him that's reared its head in the past few weeks. So, I took a black marker and colored in everything pink on the outside. And, I cried inside the entire time. Because, I'm doing what I've fought against his entire life. Boys can wear pink if they want. Boys can wear dresses if they want. Boys and girls can do whatever each of them want.

And, today, out of fear for my son's innocence, I did something that goes against everything I believe in. And, that kills a little piece of me inside.

Friday, November 11, 2016

Why I am angry!

I didn't unfriend people when President Bush won. I was a staunch Democrat. I didn't even unfriend when they were speaking against President Obama with vitriol, calling him not a citizen and Muslim and what not. But, neither one of them ran on a platform of pure hate against residents of this country.

That's the difference today. If you voted for President Elect Trump, you sided with:

- his call to be violent against the other side, which affects me personally & my family & friends
- his call to target Muslims which affects my friends and coworkers who are now afraid to wear their hijab in public
- his call to target Hispanics which affects my son's classmates who are wondering if they are going to be deported
- his call to hate and conduct violence against African Americans which affects my black friends, coworkers, neighbors
- his call to end same sex marriages which affects so many of my friends, 4 of whose wedding we've taken Oliver to, to show him love comes in many forms
- his call to end funding to very important health services for women which affects a lot of young and poor women
- his call to repeal laws that allow women to have choice over their body which affects me
- his call to end the Affordable Care Act which affects my brother's and sister's (not by blood but holy hell they might as well be) ability to get critical coverage for their son who's on the spectrum
- his call to treat women like possessions to paw at whenever you want which affects me personally motherfuckers. Go talk to any woman around you and you'll hear multiple stories of being treated like that. Groped on a bus. Whistled at and then called a bitch because she didn't reply or smile. Threatened with violence because she wouldn't have sex after he bought her dinner. And so many more!

You cannot tell me you voted for him and don't side with him on any of these. And if you side with him on even one of these, I'd like to not be around you. I'd like my child to not be around you. Because I teach him to be around those who help others, are kind even when not agreeing, who don't bully others and by hanging around you, I will be teaching him it's ok to have hate in your heart.

And no, my intolerance of the hate listed above does not make me intolerant.

Friday, November 04, 2016

40 days of home cooked meals

One of my 40 by 40 goals is to have 40 days of home cooked meals - breakfasts, lunches and dinners. And that begins next Tuesday. We are celebrating Oliver's birthday on Monday at Victoria Gastro Pub, where we go every year, since their brunch is what I attribute going into labor to ;-)

I have my November plan done, and barring 2 days where we have family in from out of town, we are going to eat a home cooked meal every day, every meal. We are going to eat it at a friend's house one day; some are frozen meals I need to use up, but I am hoping it gets us into a groove of eating healthier, saving money and discovering new foods.

Here's my meal plan, totally subject to change: